This evening we want to fellowship together by the word of God on the subject that is titled: The Genesis of Marriage. What the Lord would be taking us through could go beyond Genesis, but it is going to begin from Genesis. I am sure we know that the Bible begins from Genesis, but it does not stop there. It went on till Revelation. So, people are beginning with understanding the Genesis of marriage tonight, and they would end it in their realm of revelation, understanding what marriage is all about and understanding whom the Lord has destined them to be married to. The essence of this discussion is that people get married correctly and that those who are married stay married.
Except God was not the one who joined them together. The Bible says that those whom the Lord has joined together, let no man put asunder. Let no man! And the emphasis is on the God joining them together. That is why no man must put them asunder.
The question is: Why will God who is in heaven join two people together? So, we want to understand the essences of it from the Genesis. It has been said that, whatever is not at the beginning, perhaps is not perfect. I remember in the book of Matthew, where certain things were happening and Jesus explained to the people that in the beginning it was not so. Anything that was not at the beginning, even if it is now; it is not necessarily the perfect will of God. Do we understand that?
We want to look into the perfect will of God to see why we must be married. The series began last week. We listened to the male perspective on the first day. Today again is on male perspective. By the grace of God next week we shall listen to the female perspective on the issue of marriage. So, we will leave this month of November fully understanding what God has prepared for them that love Him. The Bible says, eyes have not seen it, and ear has not heard it, and it has not yet enter the mind of people the things which God has in stock for them that love Him.
Listen To Podcast: The Genesis of Marriage
You think that you understand marriage? I don't think so. The kind of marriage that God purposed for you, you don't yet understand it. Because your kind of marriage that God has prepared for you is not after the order of the failures you see around you. It is not after the order of people that are doing try and error. It is after God's order of originality. If it is not original, don't envisioned it, because it is a wasted vision. God will not make a wrong vision to happen in your own life. Why? Because He loves you. You see your parents struggling in marriage, that doesn't make you to start marriage as a struggler. Yours is not supposed to follow the order of your clan, of your tribe.
Because you love God, your marriage is supposed to be something that the world has not seen before. Now, if the world has not seen your marriage before, then it is going to be new, unique, is going to stand out. So, some persons might observe your marriage, and wonder, what manner of marriage is this? There is peace and serenity, yet, we can't understand this man. Until your marriage gets to that point, perhaps it is still after the order of your clan, village or tribe. The things the Lord will be sharing with us it's not a common knowledge. It is not necessarily the things that are popular. It is not necessarily things that are adopted by all, and practise by all.
There is no degree of prevalence of madness that will make any man to delight in it. Should the whole world be going into error; you cannot; in the spirit to joining them; continue with them in the error. I don't know if you understand that point. That everybody is doing it does not make it something you should start doing. Or you should practise or pattern your own life after it. If it is not ideal, it not to be adopted by you.
We want to look into the book of Genesis to see how God created marriage. About a week ago, God helps us to see how God created man. Some of us know who God created man. Again we must be reminded for those of us who are much into marriage about certain things on marriage. You shouldn't tell yourself that I know marriage since I was fifteen, you should still know much about it. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. What is the difference between ignorance and forgetfulness? I don't know or I have forgotten; what is the difference? What is the usefulness of either of the two? The Bible says, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free".
If you heard the truth before and you forget the truth, you will remain in bondage even if you used to know it. It is not about I used to know, the point is that do you remember what you know? That is why we must still be put to remembrance of the things we used to know about marriage.
Let us go to the book of Genesis chapter One, we would read verses 1 to 4, and then jump to verse 22 to 26.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4 And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning were the first day.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now, as many of us know, God created marriage; the devil did not invent marriage. The same way the devil did not create the earth. I am sure we still remember what the Bible says in the book of Revelation: "Woe to the inhabitants of the earth for the devil has been thrown down and he is coming with wrath. For he knows his time is very short." So he goes to and fro on the surface of the earth causing problems, troubles, terrorising. He did not create it, yet, he goes about on it scattering it.
So, it is possible Ma, that marriage that God created to enter the state of formlessness, void, and darkness. Does it mean God didn't create it? God created it. When some of us want to enter the realm of statistics we say, so and so percentage of marriage that start end up in divorce. The rate at which people divorce is so alarming. You still know that statistics is still not the complete truth. We are talking about the number of people who are divorcing, what about the number of people who are crying in marriage? Men and women weeping in marriage. Does it mean God didn't create it?
Now, one thing that is very beautiful in this verse is that, God didn't just create the heavens and the earth. The Bible says the earth was without form and void. God did not abandon what He created. God did not allow the earth to figure out how it will emerge. How it will be corrected. How it will be perfected. God did not leave the earth to be destroyed. No! The Bible says in verse four, 'let there be light'. and "there was light". Perhaps, since light was the first thing that God called forth on the earth – that was without form, that was void, and darkness. You know the Bible says like of form, void and darkness; and God says let there be light. That light first dealt with the issue of darkness. It therefore looks as if darkness was the reason for the voidness and ultimately for the formlessness.
So, if God could address the issue of darkness that was prevailing; then the voidness will be arrested, the formlessness will be tackled. Do you understand ma? Then the Lord says, "let there be light and there was light". Could it mean that the current darkness in marriages is simply because there is not enough light?
They came to Jesus at a point and demanded: "Must will be our wives away for every reason?" You can even see the shallowness of their mind. Must we put away our wives for every reason? And Jesus says to them, "Have you not read?" Have you not read, have you not seen? Can you see in darkness? Have you been in a position and you are interviewing two couples, who are having trouble in marriage; and by the help of God you are able to share some light on certain things. After one hour, somebody's face that was squeezed before now relaxes. And the person is like saying, what can will do Ma, what can will do sir? Then you will ask yourself, what was wrong all along? Is the woman no longer fair, is the man no longer tall, dark, and handsome?
What went wrong was that the light has gone dark, and they could not see. So, somebody brought one light and then, the countenance begins to reflect the light that is not available. That something is going wrong does not mean it is destined to be wrong. You only need more light to fix it. The earth was declining in influence, in authority; and God and declare let there be light. Since then till date there has been light. And that begin the journey of the recovery of the earth.
Let us go back to our text, in verse 26 to 28.
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
In verse 26, the Bible says, God said "Let us create man" and man was made. And God says let us make man in our image according to our likeness and let them have dominion. Man was made, "let them have dominion". Later in verse 27, we are made to understand that the man that was made male and female. Then God bless them. So, the blessing was coming upon them, the responsibility was being released to them, and let them have dominion over.
So, God created man and He made him male and female; and He blessed them. And He says be fruitful. So, the will of God for man that was made male and female is to be fruitful, to multiply, to subdue the earth, and to have dominion over. That intention of God is not meant to be executed by a male man alone, but by a male and a female man in a union.
Some people if I may say will only wish themselves to be in authority, simply because they would only wish and they wouldn't be simply because, they are not yet, what God has blessed. Some people will wish to be great, and what their greatness has been tie with; because they wouldn't connect with it, they will remain in the realm of wishes.
And God blessed them and says, "Be fruitful and multiple." If the them refuses to remain as them and turn to a unit, against what the Lord has said; will the blessing be activated on them as individual, separately? In case you are wondering if we have gotten there, I wish you don't miss the bus stop we are checking before we get there. The blessing of God was on them, He made them male and female. He said be fruitful. If a man or woman decides to remove herself from the equation of them, and become a separate entity, would him or her still except the blessing of God that was on them be activated on him or her? What is meant for the whole cannot be enjoyed by a unit that isolated himself from the whole. That is the point.
You can wish yourself all the best wishes in this world, but until you become the whole that got the blessing of God; because something must be seen here. At this time, the Bible says God created man. We have not gotten to the process how God did it, and that Adam began to live before Eve came. So, before Eve emerged, the blessing has gone forth. And yet the blessing wouldn't become visible until Eve emerges. Because some of us might imagine that Eve was an accident. She was not! God had declared that both male and female which are "them" shall be blessed, and they shall be fruitful and they shall subdue. The blessing was on them even though, the completing part of them was not yet on ground, yet, there was a word ahead, that the blessing will rest on them.
Now, if we want to apply this, a man could receive a word from God in the days of his singleness. The word will remaining an hanging word, a word handing on his destiny, hanging around him, until it enters into his marital destiny. Some people ask God, but God you say, God you say. In fact, before God has said those things to you, He has already preordained that you will be married. But you refused to be married, and go around declaring I shall be, I shall be; the I shall be for them, not for I shall.
Let us go back to Genesis chapter two, and let us start our reading from verse 15. Genesis chapter two actually gives us the full picture of how man came into being. Verse seven tells us how God formed man from the dust of the ground. Then God released a portion of Himself into man. Man became a living being. Now, that man that became a living being in verse seven. God released a portion of Himself into man, and that man becomes a living being. Let us see what verse fifteen is saying: at this point, we will be seeing one person.
Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
God put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and to keep it. One person, the Lord put him in the garden to tend and to keep it. In verse eighteen of the same chapter, "the Lord God said", I want us to be noting the terms, the Lord God said. When the earth was filled with darkness, it lack form and it was void. The solution was not earthquake, then the "Lord said". The same way the Lord said let there be light, and there has been light since, the same way the Lord God said in verse eighteen: it is not good that a man should be alone.
I, the Lord, will make him a helper that is comparable to him, that is suited for him. I will make him a helper that is comparable to him. This him that I am going to make a helper, is the one that I have put in the garden to tend and to keep it. I have committed a responsibility into his hand. Yet, while committing it, I know he can't do it alone. Even him has come to the realization because even him has tried and you will see where the frustration of Adam began to emanate.
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
In verse nineteen of the chapter you will notice the state of Adam. The Bible recorded that, "…But for Adam" and when you notice but, it shows that there is an issue. As smooth as everything was, something wasn't right. "But for Adam, there is no helper". Do we see helper? A helper. The essence of marriage is about a helper. Some who get it wrong look for helpers. You know, things get more values when they are scarce. When you know that your help has been kept by God in one; you will treat the person with great respect and honour. When you know you can find help anywhere, you treat the helpers anyhow. Check a man who has seven helpers in his house, and a man who has one helper, who is likely going to treat the helpers well? Sincerely, from practical experience, when you misuse one, the one is always falling sick, so, you have to struggle. But, when you have seven available, you can even try to one's leg; the six will still be working.
True respect and honour come in that form of monopoly or scarcity. God was not intending to make a man helpers in marriage. So, those who enjoy the polygamy of marriage they are missing the real factor, the originality of God's intention. God intended to make a man a helper. That task of tending and keeping the garden could be done if only he could get a help. And those who see their wives as insufficient help it is their cup of tea. I think they need more light.
For that destiny that the Lord has created you for; there is a help for you. Now, among one of the things God told me while I was in the university: there are billions of women in the world, but only one is my wife. That liberated me because as a man you cannot stop admiring ladies. But, when God helps you to understand that, they are all something else not your wife, so, you will have some peace.
The Lord says, I will make a help that is comparable to him. Another version says, that is suited for him. That help is just appropriate for him, fit nothing else but for him. He also fit nothing else but that help. The help has something he does not have, so when he is well joined to that help; they become whole. So, a man that has received a blessing from the Lord, but has refused to be joined to the help of his destiny will never become whole even if though he is praying for wholeness. I pray that the God will help us in Jesus name.
Let us move to verse twenty-one.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept. One of the things we must note is that: Adam was not conscious when all this whole things was happing. What God did he didn't know; when he woke up, he was okay. But, he was not really okay. He checked all over his body, he was not bleeding outside nor was he bleeding internally. He knew that, he was okay. But, he was not perfect. He looked perfect but he was not perfect. If he had continued life like that, he wouldn't have fulfilled the destiny that God has created him for. Because, something was taken from him. Until he become one with that thing, he cannot be perfect.
My worry over the later part of the verse twenty is that, "But for Adam, there is not found a helper". Which make it clear that getting a helper, it is not automatic. It involves a serious search. A man who is lazy cannot even find the will of God in marriage. The Bible says, anyone who want to find friends, must make himself friendly. You treat women anyhow, you talk to women anyhow. You will never go out of your ways to do anything for anybody. Yet, you still want to find.
Sometimes, people's laziness and attitude, is the reason why they have not become married. It is not easy to be married, the same way it is not easy to remain married. You must search! You must look for! So, you must go out, go out of your comfort zone. Go out of your convenient area. Try to – Have you ever found any hunter who has found animals in his house? You go for a search, there is a place where they are; you go there for a search. That is how a particular hunter seeks for an animals. Your wife is not an animal. I am just giving us a picture.
Getting the will of God for your life, it is not something that is easy. If wishes were horses, beggars will ride. Are we all married? Is money the reason why we are not all married? Some people can't go for search, while some people can't wait to be found. I am single and searching; are we truly searching? I am single and waiting, are we truly waiting? I can't wait for too long, I will say yes to this one. Is that one the one that you were taken out of? Do you fit the man? Do you suit him well? If we want to be honest, are you the perfect will of God for his life?
In verse 21, after the Lord close up the place, and brought the woman to the man, the man did not say, this is an animal, a goat, a bird, not a foolish woman. This is not an idiot, not a rubbish, a nonsense. This is not a lost but found. This is a treasure, a bone of my bone, a flesh of my flesh. Because the Lord said, I will make a suitable helper for him, comparable to him. When a man calls his wife a goat, that is who he is. If a man calls wife an idiot, he too, is Mr. Idiot because she was made comparable to you. She is made after your order. She is rubbish, you are Mr. Rubbish. She has been made comparable to you. The essence of that is for acceptance, value and treasure.
Why as a woman, why is that woman made comparable to you? So, that you will accept her. God did not force Adam, Adam himself recognise that this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. I have been touching lion, I have been touching tiger, this one is a different touch. I have been meeting different women in the office, I have been meeting different women in class, this one is different. She is blessed, she is graced. She is a treasure.
A man that is not perfect will have certain issues. When the right woman finds these issues, will she ridicule the man for his issues? Or does she thinks on how to get man out of the issues? That is how to know your wife. God expected man to have dominion, God blessed him in anticipation that a help is coming. You refused to get that help, you will not be able to lay claim to your own inheritance. So, before you start going to mountains, settle down and accept the will of God in marriage. Start appreciating and honouring people. Start understanding that what God has created you to do, you cannot do it alone.
In Ecclesiastes 4, if we read from verse 5. There are some instructions for us.
5 The fool folds his hands
And consumes his own flesh.
6 Better a handful with quietness
Than both hands full, together with toil and grasping for the wind.7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun:
8 There is one alone, without companion:
He has neither son nor brother.
Yet there is no end to all his labors,
Nor is his eye satisfied with riches.
But he never asks,
“For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?”
This also is vanity and a grave misfortune.9 Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Marriage is for companionship. Marriage is for help. Companionship cannot be done through Bluetooth or infrared. Wireless cannot do it either. Companionship is one on one, physical contacts. Check out who are your best friends, are they the ones that you talk with by wireless or the ones that you have regular, physical contact with? Many people who were married before are no longer married today simply because they started drifting away by distance. They started doing long distance marriage. over time, their love wax cold. Two people can be together and still struggle. How much more two people that are not together? If there must be heat generated in a marriage, then there must be close contact.
You cannot feel any heat in one thousand miles apart, you need to be together. The original intention of God is that a man should be married, and that he should be with his wife. When God told Abraham, to leave his father and his mother unto a land He was going to show him, Abraham did not leave Sarah behind. He went with her. Even a little separation between the two of them in Egypt, Abraham almost lost Sarah. God did not told him to do it, it was simply for survival. The intention of God is that the husband and the wife stay together, that is where your authority both lies in the marriage. If you would enjoy your marriage, stay together.
No wonder, when Apostle said husband and wife, when they fast, they should quickly come together lest the devil takes advantage. If those who are living together in the same house were advised to quickly come together, please what happens to those who were miles apart? There will be problem. That is how errors enters into the marriage. People start speaking into the ears of your husband or wife. If the marriage must remain, be together. Companionship is about being together. If there would be any help, then there must first be companionship. I cannot help somebody that I cannot company with. if I cannot tolerate your presence, I cannot also partner with you. How can it happen? God is sending you two together towards a destiny, and you claim you can never stay together, how can you then get there together? And yet your authority have been packaged together.
Eyes have not seen it, ears have not heard it; and it has not entered the heart of man the things that God has prepared for them that love Him. The genesis of the 'Them' is the male and the female man.
I pray that God will help us in Jesus' Name!
