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The Spirituality of Marriage: Understanding the Essence of The Marriage Union

We are continuing in our series on Marriage in this month of September. It's been an awesome time. You know, this September has been from one deeper dimension to another. God has been faithful to us in revealing His truth about marriage to us, one meeting at a time. So, we don't take it for granted, we return all the praise to Him. If you are joining this series for the first time, it will be meaningful for you and useful for you to go back to all the messages and meetings in this month of September, and key into the revelation that the Lord has opened up to us in marriage, and you will see that your life will not remain the same again in the name of Jesus.

 

This morning we will be looking at yet another step that the Lord is letting us into, letting us see the essence of why He has called the marriage union together, and why it's so important in His heart. So, we will be looking at the Spirituality of Marriage. When we talk about the Spirituality of marriage, one of the things we want to quickly highlight is on the purpose of the marriage. My husband used to say something that “when the purpose of a thing is not known to abuse it becomes very easy.” When you don't understand the purpose of marriage, we don't understand the essence of marriage, we don't understand why marriage is important and what the heart of God is for marriage, we would often abuse that institution. And that is why today the Lord is taking us back to the beginning, back to the purpose, back to the essence. Why is there marriage? When God called marriage what was His original idea? When God called marriage what was the intent of God?

 

You know, the Lord was making us understand in the Disciplers Convocation some weeks ago, that God is a God of purpose, there is nothing that God does without a purpose. God does not even involve Himself in anything that is purposeless. So that's why God is not interested in the life of anyone that is without a purpose. So, when the Bible says “God loves the whole world” His investment in the world is because aforetime, there was a purpose. That's why He is interested. Anything that you see that God is not interested in, know that that thing does not have a purpose. But when God becomes interested in anything, or anyone, it's because there is a purpose for that thing and there is a purpose for that person. So, this morning we are going back to the beginning.

 

Genesis 1, we have read it so much in this series but don't be tired of it because the word of God has the ability to transform us. As the Lord unveils to us, the more we look, the more it looks as if the veil is being lifted and we are seeing new things in the Scripture. Genesis 1:25-26. I want us to be patient and follow these Scriptures this morning because they are like the bedrock and the foundation of this discourse. “And God made the beast of the earth according to its kind, cattle according to its kind, and everything that creeps on the earth according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.”

 

Verse 25 introduces us to something important. The Bible says “and God made the beast” and when He made them it's according to its kind, the kind of beast. When He made the cattle it's according to its kind. Then verse 26, you will see that it says; “Then God.”  God had made the cattle according to its kind, the beast according to its kind, every creeping thing according to its kind, “Then.” Please when the word "then" is used to introduce a statement, it means that you should pay particular attention to what is about to happen. It means that there is something that is going to be a shift from the existing. For example, “I sat down”, “then” another action. I did something that was more meaningful than what I did before. So, when “then” is used to introduce something it's talking about something more meaningful than what you have seen before because it's something you must pay close attention to.

 

The more we grow in the Spirit, the more we understand the power of language and words. God does not speak haphazardly. God is not a talkative. When the Lord speaks, His words are intentional, when He inspires a thought in your heart, and He gives you words, don't take it at the surface value, or the superficial value. He is intentional about everything thing He is saying to you. And that's why when we listen to God, don't listen just with your ears, you listen with your heart. Because that's where true communication makes sense. That's the same thing when you are reading the Scriptures, don't read it with your mind, read it with your heart. Let the veil of your heart be open and let the Lord open you up to what He is truly saying. Because the truth is; English is limited in expressing Spiritual things. And that's why we pray in the Spirit because the communication of man has all the limitations of man. It's only the communications of the Spirit that has the limitless effect and power of the Spirit.

 

So, when the Lord is speaking to us even in human language, you should be careful so that you are not just interpreting it in your human dimension, you must enter the Spiritual dimension to understand the Spiritual note that God is dropping. “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” Please from verse 25 we read; does it not also speak? The Bible says “and God created the cattle according to its kind. Then God said; let us make man.” He now broke down His own kind. The kind of God must be in His image, and in His likeness. So, we can summarize this to say that God created man, according to His kind.

 

So, in the kind of God, man was made. So, man was made in the kind of God, in the image and the likeness of God. So, man is Spiritual. There is no how we want to quote it or make it look nice scientifically that makes sense ultimately. Have you tried to sit down and reason out some of these scientific evolutions and does it make sense to you ultimately? No! Because it's not the truth. When you start with the truth, it might not make sense to you, at first, but ultimately you would see that that's the truth. So, whether men all over the world like it or not, man is not the product of evolution. Man is a product of God's kind. Man is God's kind. Man is Spirit, the image and likeness of God. So, to understand who we are, we need to understand who God is. And this is like the foundation of everything. The foundation of everything is in our identity. The moment you miss out the identity of a thing, you have missed out on the purpose of it. Once you cannot identify something correctly, you cannot apportion purpose, you cannot decipher purpose correctly. So, the issue with human beings over the years have been the issue of identity crisis.

 

Every human being has suffered this because of what happened with Adam and Eve. Identity crisis have been the bane of human existence, so much so that the devil was interested in it. The reason why it looks as if the devil has the upper hand is because we have so many people in identity crisis. And that's why when the devil came to test Jesus, he wanted to be sure because that's how he deceives all human beings. He said to Him: “Are you sure who you are?” And that's why the first question he asked Him was about His identity. If you are the son of God like you claim, turn this stone into bread. The first thing the devil will do to paralyze your purpose, and your mission on the Earth, is to tamper with your identity. The moment you miss out who you are, you will miss out on what you are supposed to do. And this is the background of marriage, this is the foundation of it.

 

Once you don't understand who you are, you will not understand what you should do, or who you should become. And that's why the issue of identity is a critical issue in the kingdom. And that's why when Jesus came to the earth, He wasn't so big about doing miracles, He wasn't so big about making Himself popular and famous. But He came to show us who we are. Because that's been the issue. Our understanding of who we are has been altered. It has been distorted from the beginning. So, Jesus came to show us who we are. Our identity.

 

The moment you know who you are, you have crippled the power of the devil over you. The moment you stand up to the true identity of who you are, the devil has lost the battle over your life. Because who you are is what produces everything that you are. We can preach several messages around it, we can talk about several dimensions of it, but the core of our existence is tied to our identity. Who you are, you are God's kind, you are spirit! And until we come to the realization of it and come functioning properly in our place, we cannot become all that God wants us to be. So, who we are is who God has made us and it is spirit!

 

I want us to see Genesis 2 we will read from verse 4 to 8. The Bible says:

 

This is the history of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, 5 before any plant of the field was in the earth and before any herb of the field had grown. For the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the earth, and there was no man to till the ground; 6 but a mist went up from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground. 7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.8 The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed.”

 

When we went to Genesis 1:25-26, particularly 26, God said “let us make man in our image and according to our likeness”, in verse 27 so God created. When God created man, where was man? Man was with God. When God created man, man was not floating, because anything that God creates exist. When God created man, man was existing. Man did not exist in Genesis 2:7, No! Man had been existing when God created him. And that's why when God speaks to you, that thing that God said to you is already existing. When God speaks His word, which are Spirit and life, when He says “I will make you great, you will be the joy of many generation” that joy is already existing. But something that God does that many of us are not aware of, is this. When God makes things in the Spiritual, when there is a need for it in the physical, God forms it. God creates in the Spirit, and He forms in the physical. What exist in the Spiritual realm are things created. That's why the Bible says “there is nothing that was created outside God. All things were made in Him and for Him.”

 

But when God wants what He has created to have an earthly manifestation, He forms it. The Bible says this is the history of how God created the heavens and the earth, before there was any plant, before there was this and that, He said God did not cause rain, because there was no man to till the ground. Understand that God is a God of purpose. And He said “oh I have created man in the spiritual realm, there is a need in the physical, I will introduce my spiritual creation into this physical issue.” And God formed man, and released what He had created into what He had formed; and man became a living being. Now the Holy Spirit is taking time to build this understanding in us because until we understand our identity, there is no issue going into purpose. There is no need. Because identity begat purpose. And this identity here is so critical. Did man lose who he was with God, because he is now on earth? No! Whom man was with God is still the same person he is on the earth even though in a human body.

 

So, because you are now in the limitations of the body does not rob you of the Spiritual identity. It said “and the Lord planted a garden, and there He put the man” that He created? What did the Bible say? Because the man that He created was with Him. For the first time God was going to give a separate location to man. So, man that He had formed, He put in the garden. What makes us look as if we are distant from God is because there is a garden called earth that God had created and He has put you that He has formed in it but does not stop who you are. The only problem man has is the limitation of this flesh. Until we connect back to our identity, we can't become all that God wants us to be. We can't reflect that life; we can't do all that God wants us to do. I want us to go to verse 18. Because we are now going into marriage. Understand your identity, let's come to purpose.

 

Genesis 2:18-25. “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.” This man that I have formed is alone in this place, is alone where I have put him. It says; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Remember we said in Genesis 1, the Lord said to us that man was made in His image, male and female He created them. So, the first person that God formed was the man, but male and female was with Him. So, the first person He introduced to the physical realm, was man, the male version, male expression. God is a God of purpose; He doesn't do His things anyhow.

 

He said I am going to introduce another creation. Remember the message we heard about living creatures, we are all living creatures of God. God introduces us when He pleases and when purpose necessitates it. And that's why the Bible says God is not a respecter of persons. Now see what He said; Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.” So, God introduced living creatures. Remember He had made them, He had created them. God now made them and introduced them to the visible realm. And that's why we must understand; what we see in the visible realm, there are several of that we see in the visible realm in the invisible realm. Purpose brings what God needs from the invisible realm to the visible realm. When God said the cattle upon the thousand hills are mine, they are not our own cattle.

 

Because some of us will think, the cattle upon the thousand hills, do cattle stay on the hill? If they stay on the hill so God is counting all the cattle, they are His own? No, the cattle upon the thousand hills, He is not talking about your realm. He is talking about His realm, they are His. Silver and gold are mine not your naira and Kobo. The silver and gold are in the Spiritual realm. When you need it, when the purpose of God demands it, God brings it to the physical realm.

 

“So, Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found in the visible realm a helper comparable to him.” Is it that God did not have that help for him? God had it, but that help had not come to the visible realm. Remember that while there was a need in the life of Adam, He was still fulfilling purpose. He was still doing the things that God asked him to do. He was still naming the cattle. He was still naming the living creatures. He was still tending and keeping the garden. Remember, He was doing all that. So, the need of his life was not met by him, but what God did for him is that Adam was not going to go into marriage, Adam was going to grow into marriage.

 

Many people go into marriage, they say “it's time for me to marry I am now 25”, and they say “yes, it's time for me to marry.” But from the beginning it was not so, Adam did not go into marriage, he grew into it. There was something he was busy doing, there was an assignment he was handling for God in the visible realm that he needed help for. So, Adam grew into marriage. And that is one of the principal problems that we have in marriages today. People go into marriage; they don't grow into marriage. In the beginning it was not so, Adam grew in the hands of God; daily God was testing him, daily God was leading him, daily he was fellowshipping with God and God recognized the need Himself, it wasn't a prayer request.

 

So, Adam grew into his marriage and see how it happened. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman” It said “and He brought her" who brought her? God! He brought her from the invisible realm into the visible realm. And that's why until the Lord opens your eyes, you don't see who you are supposed to marry. The person can be around you until the Lord brings her. Many things we see in the visible realm, they have always been there, but until the light of God, because that's how God brings things to you. He gives you light, He opens your eyes to see what He has already created.

 

That's why the Bible says “the works of the Lord are already finished.” Some of us still think that God is working, He is resting. The Bible says; and God rested from all His work. He is resting, what He is now doing for us is giving us light to see what He has done, He is opening our eyes to see and He is arranging and rearranging our possibilities. That's what God is doing. What do you think God is doing in heaven right now? Do you think He is creating new things? No! I know that will affect some religious mindsets. We think God is always working, He neither sleeps nor slumber. You know what He is doing? He is judging. The Bible says God sits in the congregation of the mighty, and He judges among the gods. He is judging your growth, He is judging your faithfulness, that's what He is doing.

 

Then when it's time for Him to reveal something to you, He opens you up to it. And say “now see what I have made available. Now you have grown enough to connect to this.” They have been there. “And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

 

When a man grows into marriage, he fits into marriage. When the Lord brings a woman, she is ready made for marriage. A man grows into marriage, God brings a woman who is ready made for marriage. So, when we hear something like she is a wife material, in whose eyes? Your eyes or the eyes of God? Until there was a need for Eve, God did not introduce her. God did not bring her. She was not ready. So, when a man grows into marriage, he is fit for the marriage because God has certified him fit. When God brings a woman into marriage, God has certified her fit.

 

The reason why there are so many conflicts in the marriage and disequilibrium is because we have misfits. So many misfits! A man that has not grown, a woman that has not been brought. So, we must understand that marriage was made in the spirit and it flourishes in the spirit. The environment of marriage is spiritual in nature. When God brought man to the earth, man did not leave God. When God brought Eve to Adam, Eve did not leave God, that's why their marriage was fruitful in the beginning, that's why their marriage was meaningful in the beginning. That's why the Bible said in verse 25 and they were both naked and not ashamed. That was their state. Before chapter 3, they were both naked, that was their state. The man and his wife and they were not embarrassed. They were not ashamed.

 

That's why you will see a man, that has grown in the hands of God, is a man that is secured in God. When you see a man that is not secured in God, he will become a tyrant. Insecurity makes men become tyrants. Because it's only in God a man has security. That's why you will see men that don't have money and suddenly lose their senses. Why? He is not secured in God. He was secured in the money so his security has been taken from him, and he is now a tyrant. That's why until we understand the Spirituality of marriage, we cannot be fit. In the kingdom of God, you grow into marriage, you don't go into it. You can decide whatever you want to go into, for example now you want to just walk around, but when it has to do with your growth God determines it. He measures it. So, your growth is not self-determined, your growth is God determined. Your growth is not something you sit down by yourself and say I have grown. “This year I read Genesis to Revelation.” That is the measurement of my growth. No! The growth of man had been issued from the beginning, its measured and determined by God.

 

God determines your growth. So, if you are looking at yourself and saying “do you know how many books I have read on marriage? My confession level is top notch the way I'm confessing these days, in fact I'm the word itself.” You are joking. Your growth in the kingdom is God determined. Whether you will move to the next phase or not is determined by God, not you. So, the Spirituality of marriage was fully disclosed in that Genesis 2:25. They were both naked. This is the definition of the spirituality of marriage. They were not full of themselves; they were not focused on themselves. They were not self-centered. They were God centered. God was their focus, they were naked, no hiding. Immediately they sinned, what was the first thing they did? They went to hide. They became conscious, they became self-centered. A marriage that is founded from the beginning is based on Spirituality. The Spirit. And this is the definition, they were both naked the man and his wife and they were not ashamed.

 

Until you get to this point in your marriage, you are not married in the kingdom. You know we have two kingdoms on the earth. The kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness. I am talking about the kingdom of light because that's where I am, and that's whose representative I am. In the kingdom of light. You know in the issue of marriage that's when you have so many views. They say “what do you mean? I know somebody that is not born again the man and his wife they have been married for 52 years. They are not born again I know them they used to club every day and they are married; they are enjoying their marriage.” Were you there? Do you sleep with them? Do you know whether they are enduring or enjoying? Do you know whether they are painting a picture for you to see and they are compromising and dealing with issues at the background?

 

We are talking about the kingdom of light here, the kingdom of God. This is our manual. They were both naked, full disclosure and not ashamed. That's the Spirituality of marriage and this thing is about our life. Ephesians 5:22-33, until the church become naked and unashamed, we can't carry the glory of God. Until a man and his wife become naked and unashamed, they can't carry the glory of that union. There is a glory of your union determined and predetermined by God. Many people are married but they are not walking in the glory of their marriage. The glory of your marriage is in the Spirituality of it. They were both naked and unashamed. Until you become naked and unashamed you cannot Carry the glory of God. So, marriage is a joining of spirits. 1 Corinthians 6, I will read verse 16-20 because this is so important. Marriage is about joining of spirits.

 

Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” Do you see we are quoting back Genesis 2? Whenever people do what is supposed to done in marriage, they had entered a default marriage. Because it is principle based. Things in the kingdom is principle based. Marriage is principle based. Once you try to fake the principle, you have entered a side of it. So, when they ask young people not to be sexually immoral, you don't understand the spiritual implications. They are telling you don't enter a default marriage before the true marriage comes. See what the Scripture says;do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord”

 

How are you joined to the Lord in your marriage? Because your wife is spirit. You are joined to the spirit of God in her. Because your husband is spirit, you are joined to the Lord in him. That's why apostle Peter was saying “that don't you know that you are joint heirs of the same covenant?” You are joined to the Lord in her and that's why Apostle Paul said “wives submit to your husband as unto the Lord.” Because when you join yourself to one that carries the Spirit of the Lord, you are joined to the Spirit of the Lord. That's why the Bible says don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Because what you are simply doing is you are joining yourself with one that carries the spirit of the devil and you become one flesh and one spirit with the person except the mercy of the Lord locates you. And that's why marriage is such a sensitive matter. It's about joining of spirits.

 

But he who joins with the Lord is one spirit with Him. Remember that all that we are talking about here is about sexual immorality and see, it said in verse 18, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit”, talking about identity then it says; “who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” Can you say this to yourself? I am not my own, I am the Lords! For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” You were bought with a price, glorify God in that marriage. Because you are joined to the Lord.

 

Understand your marriage is a spiritual union, a joining of spirits. Because your marriage is a spiritual tree, you must bear spiritual fruits. Galatians 5:22-23. The Bible says; But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” So, if you are spirits, your fruit should be spiritual. Ahead of that verse 22, it says “and now the works of the flesh are made manifest. Number: one sexual immorality, envy, jealousy, drunkenness” and the list continue. A marriage that is the joining of Gods Spirit will bear His fruit. A marriage that is the joining of the spirit of the devil will bear its fruits. So, if what you are seeing in your life, is not the fruits of the Spirit then you need to go back to your identity. Check it, whose spirit is in you? Because this is the foundation, we can counsel from today till tomorrow, if it is not right, it's not right.

 

That's why the Bible says “if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” If the identity is wrong, how can the marriage be right? The spirituality of marriage starts with who holds your spirit? Who has captured your heart? Who captures your heart captures your home. Who captures your heart captures your marriage. There are some people that are very funny, they tell God, “God I love the things you said about marriage, Lord, just come and manage my marriage but leave my life.” I want to live my life the way I want but I want to have a marriage that you want, does it work? It doesn't! That's why there are so many failures, even though they come to church and carry the Bible, there is a failure because it is the person that captures your heart that captures your home.

 

You can't have a home that is centered on Christ when your heart is not centered on Christ. You can't have a business that is centered on Christ and your heart is not centered on Christ. No! God does not endorse people He does not own. He doesn't even endorse us, He blesses us. When the blessing of God is in your home, it is because the blessing of God is on your life. So, it starts with you. Who owns you? You are slaves to whoever you obey. Who do you obey? Who has captured your heart? Who captures your heart will capture your home.

 

I believe it is a good time to pray!

 

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