My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head and chains about your neck. (Proverbs 1:8- 9.)
Now, if you look at verse 8, for every parenting, there must be a father and a mother. In some cases, there will be a father figure and a mother figure. So, in verse 8, it says, “My son, here the instruction of your father”. Fathers give instructions.
What are instructions? Instructions are wise words. We're looking at Kingdom parenting. “Do not forsake the law of your mother”. Mothers give laws; they give teachings. They also instruct. To what end? In verse 9: “For they will be a graceful ornament on your head and chains about your neck”. Now this is a description, there will be a graceful ornament, what does a graceful ornament on the head do? It beautifies.
So. if you listen to the instruction of your father, and the law or the teaching of your mother, you will be decorated, you will be beautified. So, Kingdom parenting that we're looking at in this piece is to let us know that parenting is central in the kingdom. And that's why if you look from Genesis to Revelation, you will see that God is referred to as the Father. If you go to 2 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 14, you will see the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, the God there talks about the God the Father. In the Book of 1 John, the Bible makes us understand that there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Spirit. Praise the Lord! So, central in the kingdom of God is parenting. Because we are born, the Bible says, “God sets the solitaries in families”.
Why is parenting important? And why is parenting central in the kingdom of God?
It is important because He trains us. Parenting is for training. Parenting is for you to have an identity. Why does God set the solitaries in families? All of us, as we become born again, we are in the family of God. If we were not translated into the family of God, we cannot have an identity with God. Having an identity with God means that you belong to Him, you are in His family and directly, you are under His training.
We are born into families and trained by them for identity and effectiveness on the earth. I'm sure many of us in our families, we know, as we were growing up, we noticed that we have some behaviors that look like our fathers. We have certain ones that look like our mothers, or maybe our aunties and uncles; all of them are within the same family.
How Did God Become Our Father?
Genesis chapter 1 and verse 26: “Then God said, let us make man in our image”. When you are in a family, you often time carry the image of that family, it is not all the time. You must look like somebody in that family; you will not look like somebody from another family. “Let us make man in our image”. The ‘Our’ there refers to God the Father, God the Son, and the Holy Spirit, God the Holy Spirit. “Let us make man,” the Trinity decided, let Us Father a being that will behave like Us; that will be like Us. So, He said, “Let us make man in Our image, according to our likeness,” ‘Likeness’ there talks about character. Let him have Our character; “Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the beds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth”.
That's why in this piece, we are looking at Kingdom parenting; how to be trained for dominion. When God created man in His image and his likeness, God made man a dominating spirit like Him. God made man a speaking spirit like Him. God transferred if you look at Genesis chapter 2 verse 7, the Bible says, “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life,” how did man get the DNA of God? It is by the breath of life. The breath of life, and man became a living being. You and I became, and we will become like God, every time the breath of God is in us.
So, parenting is central in the kingdom, because we are born of God. If you are reading this piece, and you know you are not born again, you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Nicodemus came to Jesus. He was a pharisee, a high-ranking Pharisee. And he came to Jesus in the middle of the night, and he said, “Teacher, we have seen the things you are doing, nobody does these things if God is not with him, but how can I inherit the kingdom, how can I partake of this life?” And Jesus said to him, “Except a man is born again”.
Why do we need to be trained for dominion? If God in Genesis 1:26 has given us dominion, why is it that we are now being trained again for dominion? It is because man had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. When God said to Adam, “If you eat of the fruit in the midst of the garden, you will surely die”. What God was saying is that you will die spiritually. The breath that I gave you in Genesis chapter 2 verse 7 that came into your nostril; that made you a living being, you will die away from that breath. and when that life is no longer there.
Have you seen a situation where people have an accident, a serious, fatal accident, and they were bedridden for a long time, but suddenly they're starting to gain themselves, what happened is the activity and the life they used to have, they are dying to that life, quote and unquote. So, they now start learning to walk like a child, why? They will now be trained because something has happened. So, something happened to man, and that is why man needs to be trained for dominion. In God, God Himself had made man in His own image, the Trinity had made man in their own likeness. But because man fell away, man needs to be trained. You will see that when God created Adam, God did not create Adam as a child, he was a man. But when Adam died away from that life, everybody now has to go through childhood. And that's the concept in which we'll be using to learn Kingdom parenting.
If we go back to Proverbs chapter 1 verses 8 to 9, now understanding that God is our Father, He said, “My son, pay attention to the instruction of your father, and to the law of your mother,” because if you do that, it will become a graceful ornament on your head and necklace or your neck. You will be beautified. You will be decorated. You will have success.
Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 to 3 says, “Children obey your parents”. In the context of our conversation in this piece, who is our parent? God, the Trinity, God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. So, if you now as a child, what should you do? “Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise”.
How do we honour our father and our mother according to Proverbs chapter 1 verses 8 to 9? Pay attention to the instruction of your father, and to the law, the teaching of your mother. So, if we look at our lives, and we look at how God has journeyed with man, from the time Adam fell, a man began to seek the Lord, we will see that God had taken His time to instruct and to teach. That is why when He took the children of Israel out of Egypt, He gave them the law.
If you go back to the Scripture, you will see Apostle Paul talking about when we were students, when we were under the law, the law was our guide, it was our tutor. Because for every time the children of God stay away from God, they must be taught by the Lord for them to walk in the ways of God. And that's why as believers for us to walk in true dominion, we must be trained by our parents. You can say, “After all, God made me in His image and His likeness. I should know what to do”. No, you don't know what to do, because man sinned and came short of the glory of God. So, every child must be trained.
Proverbs 22 verse 6, every child must be trained. “Train up a child in the way he should go”. The Bible says that the Spirit of God bears witness with our spirits and that we are what children of God. As many as have believed in Jesus, He has given them the power to be called children of God. So, the Bible says here in Proverbs 22 verse 6, “Train up a child,” a child is to be trained. So, if you are a child of God, you need to be trained. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It is a principle; is a Kingdom Principle. And that's why if we look at our contemporary times if truly we are going to mirror God, follow God, follow the leading of God we will parent our children properly.
The Bible makes us understand that your children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace. If you parent in the kingdom way, you will have great peace over your children. Because the kingdom way of parenting is a training. “Train up a child,” not pamper a child. In true terms, it is God who trains. Is He kind? Yes. Is He good? Yes. But He trains us, why? He loves us. When you train up your child as a parent is because you love that child. And we are looking at scripture, so you don't say or think this is Lara Adedeji's parenting method. This is kingdom. “Train up a child in the way he should go,” God knows the way we should go. The Bible says, “There's a way that seems right unto a man but the end,” it seems right, if you are not trained, you will take it. And the Bible says, “The end”.
For every child, there's a that seems right. “Mummy, I want to eat chocolates, I want to watch TV all day long”. And you said, “If that's what she wants, let her have it. If that's what he wants, let him have it”. God is not like that. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old,” when he's matured, ‘he will not depart from it’. It has become a habit; it has become something that has been ingrained in his heart.
How does God train us?
We'll look at two critical ways in which God trains His children so that when we look at this, we'll also learn and see how we can also model the kingdom parenting in our homes. Jesus said, “As I see my father do so I do, as I hear my father say, so I say”. I want us to see how He does and hear what he says and does.
How does God parent us? 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 16.“All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work,” and that every good work, I want to replace it with dominion.
“All scripture is given by the inspiration of God,” your parents, “and it is profitable”. So, the instruction of God is profitable, and the teachings of God are profitable. No wonder God told Joshua in Joshua Chapter 1, He said to him, “This Book of the law must not depart out of your mouth, but you must meditate on it day and night, to observe, to do all that is written therein,” therefore, when you do that, your way will be prosperous, and you have what good success. So, a prosperous way and good success is not accidental, it is by training.
2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 16 that we read just now says certain things and I want us to pay attention to them: “It is profitable for doctrines.”, So how does God train us? By His Word, All scripture. “All scripture is given by the inspiration of God,” if we want to make it shorter, “all scripture is given by God”. Another way we can put it is “All scripture is given by the instruction of God”. And when God gives His instruction, it is what is profitable all the time. Number one, it is for doctrine. When God trains us by His Word, He gives us doctrine.
What is doctrine? Doctrine is a body of knowledge that has been put together to serve as guidelines, rules and regulations. Things to abide by to adhere to. So, God gives us doctrine.
If you look at the Lord's Prayer, when the disciples of Jesus told Him, “Teach us how to pray, just like John taught his disciples,” that prayer is doctrine. “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom comes. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.” When you are asking for your daily bread don't ask man, ask God; it is doctrine. When you pray, you must honour and respect and put God first; enter His gate with thanksgiving and into His court with praise — doctrine.
If you want to pray, pray in this manner, instruction. All scripture is given by the inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof. In the Scripture that is where we saw when the sons of Zebedee were saying to Jesus, “Jesus, see these people, they're just messing around. They don't know how anointed you are, can we call fire from heaven just like Elijah did”. And Jesus rebuked them, He said, “You don't know what manner of Spirit you are of,” we can't forget that. If you are given those scriptures and you are dead to them; you know that you are being reproved, not to use your anointing, the grace of God to do evil.
For corrections: these are the instruments of training. These are the tools for training. So as a parent, just like God is parenting you, just as you allow God to parent you, you must give doctrine in your family. This is how we behave in the family of God. There must be reproof. There must be correction; don't do that. Not that leave her, she's a child, when she grows up, she will learn. No! Correction, and sometimes we see how those corrections.
For instruction in righteousness so that that child can become a man of God, what is the end? That you become a man. When you train a child, it is so that the child will become a man. When you train a child, it is so that, that child becomes a woman. Being a man is being mature. So, God trains us to maturity. You can come to God the way you are, but God will not leave you the way you are, He will train you.
for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God, that the woman of God may be complete; that's the goal. The goal of the training is that you are complete. When you are complete, you are perfect. When you are perfect, you are established; when you are established, it means that you have dominion. Thoroughly equipped; thoroughly furnished for every good work. Praise the Lord!
I want us to see another scripture, Deuteronomy chapter 5 verse 29, we're looking at how God parents His children. “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!”
See what God said, “Oh, that they had such a heart”. When God is training us by His Word, what is He doing? He is training our hearts. Sometimes when you are reading the Word of God, it looks as if you're not even getting it, but it is entering your heart. Sometimes when you are training your children and you keep at it, it looks as if they are not getting it, but don't be discouraged; they are getting it because that message is entering their hearts. He said, “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments”.
How does God parent?
Last week we looked at ‘the Judge and His judging sons’. God parents His children by His justice. Jeremiah chapter 10 verse 24: “O Lord, correct me, but with justice; not in Your anger, lest You bring me to nothing,” and God does not want to bring us to nothing. God trains us by His justice; He is the just God. When Jesus was on the cross, He was crucified between two thieves; one on the right and one on the left. And He wanted to teach us His justice. Remember they were both thieves.
Jesus was in the center, the one on the left, and the one on the right, were both thieves, condemned to die, they were judged correctly. But one of them turned to Jesus and said, “Jesus, remember me in the kingdom of your Father”. And the other one started mocking Him, “Hope you said you're the king of the Jews, people said you're powerful, save yourself. How come you cannot save yourself?” and we saw the justice of God, Jesus said, “Today,” not next year, ‘today, you will meet with Me in paradise’. What did he do? He judged. So, for every time God judges, God teaches His children.
Last week when we were looking at the Judge and His judging sons, God teaches us. David said, “You teach my fingers to war and my hands to battle”. Jesus said, “I've given you a mouth and wisdom, that your adversary cannot gain say nor resist”. By His justice, we are trained. If you look through all the scriptures, you will see how God was judging matters. See how He judged Ananias and Saphira. He teaches us. He trains us by His justice.
If we go to Proverbs chapter 23 and verse 13, the Bible says, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die”. Praise the Lord! I was just like, wow! really? Yes, it's in the Scripture. In verse 14, “You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from [d]hell”.
Sometimes we think God judges us too harshly, true or false, how many of us have been there? God is I'm sure, if you look at the story of Ananias and Saphira, some of us could say, ‘Is that judgement not too harsh? See how God judged Jonah, the Bible says, “You shall beat him with your rod and deliver him from hell”.
My son if your heart is wise, when you are receiving the training, God is teaching your heart. It is not so that you should have a six-pack. No! God is teaching your heart. The training of God by His word and by His justice is to train your heart. My son if your heart is wise, my heart will rejoice. Because when your heart is wise, walking through dominion. When Adam was wise, God brought all the animals to him to see what he would call them, and whatever Adam called them that was their name, the heart of God rejoiced.
If you go through the Book of Proverbs, you will see the wise words and the structure of wisdom that God dished out by inspiring Solomon to write them. He said, “My son, if your heart is wise,” if you take the training, your heart will be wise. My heart will rejoice indeed, I myself. Yes, my innermost being will rejoice when your lips speak the right things out of the abundance of the heart, what does the Bible say? “The mouth speaks.” So, are we allowing the training of God to be in the abundance of our hearts? Are we internalizing the training of God? So, corrective instruction is to make us not break us. The training of God is to make us and not to break us.
Let's see Psalm 94 verse 12: “Blessed is the man whom You instruct, O Lord, and teach out of Your law, 13 That You may give him [e]rest from the days of adversity until the pit is dug for the wicked”.
By now we know that instruction is training, “and teach out of Your law,” so you see that God is our Father and our Mother, going by Proverbs chapter 1 verses 8 to 9. He instructs us and teaches us. Out of your law that you may give him rest. the reason God is training us is so that He will give us rest. But many of us are seeking rest, but we don't want the training. Surely there is an end, that end that you desire is rest. The rest is the place when you are fully in dominion. But there is a process and that process is the training.
We're looking at Kingdom parenting, how to be trained for dominion. Proverbs chapter 29, we'll start our read from 15. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom,” this is the Bible. I just want to show us different scriptures. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother”. And God does not want us to bring shame to Him. That's why He trains us.
“When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases; but the righteous will see their fall. 17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul”. Do we see scriptures correlating together? Is that not the same thing we read in Psalm 94? “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul”. That's why God trains us; that's why he trains us.
Let's see Job chapter 5 verse 17, I just want to show us all of these scriptures so that we will take the instructions and the corrections of God with joy. Knowing that it is because He loves us; is because He wants our rest; is because he wants us to walk in dominion. “Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; therefore, do not despise the chastening of the Almighty.”
Look, happy is the man; happy is the woman whom God corrects. Therefore, as a result, do not despise it. Don't despise the training of God. As children, don't despise the training of your parents. Children, obey your parents in the Lord is so that you will be happy; and have rest.
So, we see why God disciplines us.
Why is it important for us to embrace the training of the Almighty, the chastening of the Almighty?
Proverbs chapter 22 verse 15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far from him”. When we're talking about the rod of correction, does God bring a cane to beat us? No! The word of correction. The instruction of correction. How does God train us? By speaking and doing. For Jonah, God spoke, he decided to go to Tarshish and God started showing him; God started doing: first, it was a terrible storm. After all the people on that ship got very discouraged, “We can't die like this,” they decided to go spiritual. “Let's cast lots, so we can know who caused this thing on us,” and God allowed it to fall on Jonah. Sometimes when God is training us, He will be orchestrating events. Why? To train us. Praise the Lord!
God disciplines us so that foolishness will be far away from us. God trains us so that foolishness will be far away from us. All that we have looked at very quickly are: kingdom parenting produces peace; Kingdom parenting gives beauty. Kingdom parenting brings joy and, let us see 3 John chapter 1 verse 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth,” no greater joy that you have trained them in the truth and they have not departed from it. Kingdom parenting brings joy. Kingdom parenting requires time. That is why God has put His Spirit within us.
How does God deploy His parenting and sustain it?
Matthew chapter 28 verses 19 to 20: “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” why is this important? This is how God deploys His parenting. Once you are born again, you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. You are baptized in the name of the Father. You are baptized in the name of the Son and you are baptized in the name of the Holy Spirit, what that will do is that it will put in you. Remember that when Adam sinned, that life of the Father of the Son, and the Holy Spirit had died. The reintroduction of that life is by baptism. And that's why when a child is born into a family, there is a naming.
What is done in a naming ceremony is actually a baptism. You are baptized, so you give local names, biblical names, what are you doing? You are baptizing that child into your family, in the name of your family. So, they said, “This child shall be called Joy the daughter of Mr. And Mrs. Mathias. It is baptism. So, when a believer has crossed in the place of salvation from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of God, the believer must be baptized. The importance of baptism is like a naming ceremony. And that's why Jesus had to be baptized, setting an example for us. And his disciples also went about baptizing. Because baptism is a naming ceremony in the kingdom: we baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. And that immersion into the water is a death to the old self. And you are rising as a new creation in Christ Jesus.
Baptism is the naming ceremony of the kingdom. And that is why when they finish, sometimes they give a baptismal name. Because it's a naming ceremony; it has a strong spiritual and biblical connotation. He said after you have done that, “teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age”. How does He stay with us always? It is because we are baptized into Him.
Apostle Paul made us understand in the Book of Hebrews that the children of Israel were baptized into Moses, why? They are baptized into Moses because it was a refusal to relate with God, directly. Your baptism into God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit is saying that you now have direct access, unhindered access: no human interference between you and God. Teaching them to observe. This is how God deploys His parenting — “teaching them to observe, all things I have commanded you, and lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age”. If you parent your children properly as one who is modelling God, even though you are not physically with them, your spirit will be with them. Why? Because you have impacted your life into them over the years. Anywhere they go, they carry a portion of your spirit also.
Deuteronomy chapter 31 verse 8. We're looking at how God deploys His parenting. “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” The way God deploys His parenting, He does not leave. He does not forsake; see what Jesus said in John 14 verse 18, He said, “I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you”. How did He come to us?
2 Corinthians chapter 1 verse 22, is just to show us the progression, I don't want to dwell on it. Is just to show us how God deployed very accurately His parenting over us. 2 Corinthians chapter 1 verse 22: “Who also has sealed us,” Jesus said, “I will not leave you as orphans, how be it, I will come to you”. “Who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts”. Where is the Spirit? In our hearts. “He has given us the spirit in our heart as a guarantee of His presence.? As a guarantee of His parenting. That's what the Bible says, “As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God”.
2 Corinthians 13 Verse 14, He gave us His Spirit; the Spirit in our hearts. And when we receive instructions, where are they supposed to be? In our hearts? So, the Holy Spirit trains us directly. There is no wall of division or partition. It's been torn. He trains us directly. So let us lastly look at the expression of Kingdom parenting.
The expression of Kingdom parenting
2 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 14: “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all”. Glory to God. What are the three expressions of Kingdom parenting?
The love of God: As a parent, you must love your children. God loves us. He parenting us with love. No matter what you have done, He still loves you. John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son”, He gave that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. He gave — the love of God. “Oh, what manner of love that God has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God”. The love of God, you can't parent successfully without love. When you are instructing, it must be born out of love. When you are correcting, it must be born out of love. The Bible says, “It is the children that the father loves that he chastises”.
Number two: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. These are the expressions of Kingdom parenting. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. While we were yet sinners, Christ died. There is nothing you have done to merit His Grace. Apostle Paul said, “Take away this thorn in my flesh,” He said, ‘My Grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness’. Sometimes we feel as if we don't deserve God. It's true, we don't deserve Him. But the way He parents us, the way He trains us, He trains us in grace. It was so serious that the Bible says the angels were asking, what is man that You are mindful of him, Or the soul of man that You visit him? The grace, it is not all about what I have done, but because of who He is, is not because of my background; whether my family is influential or not, no, it is because of who He is. He's a good, good Father. The Grace! The Bible says, “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain,” in the Book of Revelation, “that was slain to receive honour, glory, wisdom, might, power, strength,” for us and He distributes them freely to us. Grace!
So, as a kingdom parent, your children might misbehave, will you deny them food? God Himself said, “You being wicked if you know how to give good gifts to your children how much more God, will He not freely give you the Holy Spirit; will He not freely give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? Grace, Grace, Grace!
Number three: The fellowship of the Spirit. The Fellowship of the spirit. The love of God is shared abroad in our hearts, by the Holy Spirit because He's in our heart. He has given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee of His presence. How do I know God is with me? There is a guaranteed presence, the presence of the Holy Spirit. And what do I do with the presence of the Holy Spirit in my heart? Fellowship! What is the instruction of God for me today, sweet Holy Spirit?
When you finish a day, evaluate it with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, what is the correction for today; what is the reproof of today? When He is leading you to a scripture to read, He is building doctrine. Remember that scripture we read: “All scripture is given by the inspiration of God, for correction, doctrine, reproof, instruction in righteousness, that the man of God,” why do you need to fellowship with the Holy Spirit? So that you can be complete. A believer without the Holy Spirit cannot receive the training of God.
The principal of the school is the Holy Spirit. The curriculum that has been developed by God in Christ Jesus is deployed by the Holy Spirit. So, a believer who does not have the Holy Spirit cannot be trained to be complete, and cannot be trained to operate in full dominion. That's why we need Him. That's why we must release ourselves to Him. He was there at the beginning of Genesis chapter 1:26, when God said, “Let us make man in our image”. He knows what the image should look like. He knows what the likeness should look like. And that's why He is the perfect personality for the job. He was there from the beginning. And that's why I want us to release ourselves to the Holy Spirit, and say, “Lord, have your way in me. I release myself to the training of the Lord”. I release myself to be parented by God in the full expression of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus, I receive the complete package”.
