Today we are looking at something. It is a question and we will consider it together. For those who are married, receive it as a direct question to you. For those who are yet to get married, receive it as a puzzle or a question that you must unravel. And the question is: Are There People Looking Towards Your Marriage Yet? Now, our text is in Isaiah but before we go there, I want us to look towards a marriage in Genesis 3. We understand that in Genesis 2, the first human or known marriage was established by God at the garden that God ordained and planted eastward of Eden.
The man Adam and his wife, Eve, were both brought together by God under God. They didn’t have it as an ambition, a personal desire, it was God’s original or God’s ordination for them. And it was toward a goal that they would eventually realize even to the fullest. Because one thing that we must not forget and be ignorant of is that even though you entered marriage ignorant of the purpose of it, you must not terminate the marriage or exhaust the marriage in total ignorance of the purpose of it. There is nothing that God is involved in that has no purpose. There is no creature of God that has no purpose to fulfill. And marriage, which is Gods creation; has a purpose.
So, even though a people could say they love themselves and get married, they must be smart and be wise enough to quickly find out the purpose of their coming together. That there seems to be a chemistry so to say, between you and a woman, does not mean it is purely for chemistry. There are other things that are essential responsibilities of the marriage that chemistry is only expected to introduce you into. And so, if you enter marriage ignorant, you must never remain ignorant. Because once the purpose of a thing is not known, including marriage, abuse is inevitable. And so, this couple, because later one you would realize that at the beginning, the man encountered God. The man Adam encountered God, because God took him after his formation into the garden He has made and send to him “tend this garden, keep it.”
Haven observed the man, God said “it is not good that this man be alone, let me make a helper comparable to him.” It is not good that this young man be alone, fulfilling this responsibility of his life. Let me make a woman or a creature that will help him so that together, they will achieve my goal. Because the ultimate goal, purpose and agenda of marriage comes from God. You as a man or as a woman, you cannot say “this shall be the purpose of our union.” You that did not create yourself for example, cannot create a different purpose for what God has created. All you have to do is to discover or rediscover what the purpose of God is for what you have entered. And so, haven shown the man a picture of what lies ahead of him, God said “it is not good for this man to do this work alone, let me make a helper.” And when God was done doing it, God brought a woman, a helper to the man. And the man said “this, that I behold in front of me, is now the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh, this creature shares in my nature.”
Don’t forget, God has already shown us the nature of the man that the woman shares. God said “let us make man” and so that man already has a nature that God Himself declared to be after His own nature. This is now a creature that shares in my nature, she shares in the nature of God that I share myself. Another thing we must learn is that if God had a nature and He decided to share it with man called Adam, and then the man now has a nature that he also shares with his wife, you must understand that as the purpose comes from God to the man, and flows to the woman, as they share in the nature of God, they must also share in the identity and the purpose of God for them.
Now, God who gave them His nature also gave them a purpose for that nature. The nature is not fun, but for a task to be done. There is something that God does and haven created a creature after His kind, He gave the creature the authority and permission to do the things that He does. The things that God does in heaven; He gave the creature the authority to replicate it on earth. So, by the nature and from the nature comes purpose, and so, as it is a shared nature, it is also a shared purpose and responsibility. It says “this is now the bone, the flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman.” And so, we know that the marriage started properly from there.
So, because of all these things, “therefore, a man!” who has that shared responsibility from God must then leave his father and mother and then cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh, the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bone. And so, they both have one vision, one purpose and one responsibility. Because one thing we must also realize about purpose is that purpose also defines destiny. So, if you have to purpose, you have two destinies. And if it says “the two will become one flesh”, how then can you have two destinies when you are one flesh? Because you two have become one flesh, you have similar destiny. Therefore, as far as the marriage is concerned, everything has become one.
Now, haven started like that, something went on. The woman was engaging the living creature called serpent, and the serpent gave a new idea. The serpent introduced a new perspective to the things they have known, and then the woman took it upon herself to negotiate, to discuss and engage the serpent in a strategic discussion without the direct involvement of the man. Don’t forget, they share the identity and everything. But in spite of that, the woman decided to engage the serpent, not as one flesh but as a sub-component of a shared flesh. So, there was a problem. The authority rested on them, they had a shared identity in God, the man was of God, just as the woman was of God and as such, they shared their vision, purpose, aspirations, wherever “A” goes, “B” also goes, and if A fails, B also fails. Their failures were shared; their successes were shared.
That is why Bible says “they were both naked and were shamed.” Why? Because it was the both of them. But the moment Eve decided to take a step to do it directly, or in isolation from her husband, there was a challenge. So, we know the story. When God came, he called to Adam; “where are you?” Adam said “I heard your voice; I was afraid and I hid myself.” God said “who told you that you are naked, have you eating from the tree?” Adam said “sorry sir, it was the woman whom you gave to be with me she gave me of the tree and I ate” (Genesis 3:12). The question then is why will the woman give him to eat if not that the woman had false access to it? If they say “who touched the fruit first?” It was the woman.
The woman touched it first because she was persuaded first. Don’t forget, they were supposed to have similar persuasion. If somebody should get you as a man to be persuaded on a matter, your wife should be co-persuaded. So, all along, things have been the same, they were both naked, being in the same situation. But when it came to this, their persuasion was not both. One got persuaded first and made the other to become persuaded with her. He said “the woman whom you gave to be with me she gave me of the tree and I ate.”
And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
When the Bible says in Ecclesiastes that we have read before, “two are better than one because they will have a better reward for their labor and where one falls, the other will help the other up.” So, you see the essentiality or the essential purpose of being two and being one. So, that we don’t get deceived, anyone can be deceived. But it is difficult for two people listening to you to be deceived at the same time. What usually causes the problem is that when the man or the woman comes out of the marriage to take a decision in isolation from her husband or his wife. The truth is it is easy for one to be deceived, but it is difficult for the two to be deceived together.
That is why you don’t step out of your marriage to make decisions, because you will be making it in half understanding and half knowledge and there is a propensity for you to make mistake. In this moment, the woman did not say “we were deceived.” She said “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” And you see, once your wife or your husband is deceived, it becomes easy for you to be deceived as well. But at the moment of deception, assuming you are together, things become difficult. This is a lesson that we must apply if we want peace in our marriages and we want prosperity.
There are many investment decisions that are made by couples only to regret later simply because it was one of them that made the decision trying to be smart. Many people would have invested in businesses only to realize there are mistakes, meanwhile, your wife has been created by God to spot such mistakes even from the beginning. So, that is that. But that is not our goal. The title still remains: Are There People Looking Towards Your Marriage Yet? Now, this marriage in question, we are looking towards it but I am not sure we really love the marriage. Or is there anyone who wants to replicate the marriage between Adam and Eve and all its antecedents? The answer is, No!
So, as soon as this happened, and God got it; Adam said “I didn’t want to do it, my wife that you gave to be with me, she gave me and I ate it.” The wife also said “I didn’t want to do it but I was deceived.” But you will understand that assuming they had come together effectively in their marriage; there wouldn’t have been an edge enough to be broken for the serpent to bite. Do we understand? Assuming they had formed a formidable fortress around their marriage, it would have been difficult for an outsider called serpent to break through. So, you must understand it that as you shared nature and identity, you shared vision and purpose and everything also as well.
As a married man who has been married for years, one thing I see as the summary is that I have made better decisions with my wife. I have made the worst decisions alone. And I also believe my wife also knows that some of the decisions I was talking about that I took alone; I did actually take them alone. If you ask her too on the number of decisions she has made before she got married, and how many did she make with her husband and all of that. When you see it, she will be able to tell you that she is better off acting in marriage. That is how God has ordained it. When we see divorce, it is just a result of series of actions outside of marriage that has culminated into reprisal effect that eventually ended the marriage.
So, God said to the woman in Genesis 3:16:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
How many of us have seen women give birth to children? It used to be very rosy before all these things happened to Eve in the beginning. It says: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow in your conception and in pain you shall bring forth children.” Is it not happening? The reason why I’m saying this is because of the next statement. It says: “your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” I want us to pause here. Your desire as a woman shall be towards your husband. You know, the question is: Are There People Looking Towards Your Marriage Yet?
But the Bible shows us here in chapter three, the Bible says that the woman, the wife; receives a statement from God, an order or a directive from God, and it says: “You Eve, you woman, henceforth, your desire shall be towards your husband and he shall rule over you.” Those who understand Luke 20, in those places where Jesus says “the rulers of the gentiles they Lord it over their people, but it shall not be so among you.” So, you are not ordained by God to lord leadership over your wife.
The Bible says as a man, you have the responsibility to rule over your wife, and the reason why that is going to be necessary is because her desire shall be towards you. She will now henceforth be looking towards you. Now, imagine this, hitherto her desires had been independent, she could look towards you, away from you, around you, she could look anywhere she loves, and that has made her to be prone to the mistake that I’m solving now. There is a mistake that is on ground, and what’s the mistake? The woman entertained a stranger, received counsel from the stranger and made a family/kingdom decision based on what a stranger has said.
He now says from henceforth, your desires will be toward him, your focus will be towards him. So, as you want to reach out to the nations, you reach out to the nations through him, as you want to subdue the kingdoms, you subdue the kingdoms through him. So, what happens? In organizations, there is something they call “a chain of command” and there could be many structure/structural expressions but everything is coordinated under one leadership. And so, even though you as a person you have different parts of your body but everything is combined together on your head. So, your body gets food through the head, the head has a compartment called mouth and through the mouth, substances are released into the different segments of your being, and supply comes into you, through your head.
Now, when you want to also release, you release certain substances from your different parts to the head. Now, my mouth is speaking and it is situated in my head, but the words coming may be powered from different organs of me. Do we understand? But everything is coordinated through the head. Your desires shall be towards him and he will rule over you, he will be your head. So, no longer shall there be uncoordinated expressions in your marriage. Henceforth, every expression in your marriage shall be channeled through your husband.
The other day I believe many of you heard my wife when she said there were so many things she wanted to do before she got married but God told her to calm down first and get married. Getting married doesn’t mean it will happen today, you need to be patient to get married in time so that when you get married, you will be able to express your fulness in marriage. God doesn’t want uncoordinated expression, get married so that there will be one vision, one goal, one purpose, one destiny. There will be no crack.
Some people have said the problem of the church today is our division. It’s not our diversity, but our division. We can be diverse, just as we have many parts of our body but our bodies are coordinated. Why? The same brain, one brain is sending signal to everything. If the brain of a human is affected, even to lift a finger will become impossible. When you see people, who are paralyzed on either part of their body, it is not because their hands have issues, the problems start from the brain. And so, the signals that are supposed to be sent through the muscles and every other part will no longer get the signal. One brain coordinating the multiple parts of the body.
So, what do we call doublemindedness? That is double coordination, it’s even a problem. What about triple mindedness, how does it happen? So, the person wants to go North and another part of him wants to go South and is going everywhere, when you see someone like that that is triple mindedness because the head has been split into many parts. There are demons inside of him telling him to do like this, he himself he is telling himself do like this. So, the point is there is no serious movement, no serious progress. If you have ever been directed by many directors in a drama, you would understand what I am saying better.
In the case of many directors directing you, there will be conflict. When the word of God comes, it is the word of God the Father, word of God the Son, and word of God the Holy Spirit. When God the Son speaks, it is the same word with the Father. So, what happens? The expressions are coordinated into one head. That’s why Apostle Paul said the head of Christ is God and Christ is the head of the man, and the man is the head of the woman. Every expression is coordinated in one, because until this happens, your marriage cannot be look towards by anyone. No one wants to follow an uncoordinated train. No matter how long a locomotive train is, there is always one engine in front of it. It could be as long as anything, but the engine that drives it is one.
So, many people can join your life, but there must be one leadership. Nobody wants to follow a being or a marriage that moves into different direction without meaningful progress. Because, there can’t be progress when there is coordination. And that is why God has just made that man, there was a time both of them were naked and they were not ashamed, but at a moment to avoid error in the marriage henceforth, God says let there be order. Let everything be coordinated through this man and let him rule over you.
A woman that struggles with that will therefore fail in marriage and therefore unsuited to become a model for other marriages. Let us quickly go to Isaiah 51:1-2. The Bible says: “Listen listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, You who seek the Lord: Look to the rock from which you were hewn, And to the hole of the pit from which you were dug.
2 Look to Abraham your father, And to Sarah who bore you; For I called him alone,
And blessed him and increased him.”
What happens? Who will not want to follow, number one, one who was called, one who was blessed and one who was increased? When you are following, are you following Abraham alone or you are following Sarah alone? Our God is not a talkative, He means every word. He says “look for the rock in which you were him and look at the dust, the pit in which you were dug out.” But He didn’t stop there. He says further: “look to Abraham.” Usually Abraham was the one leading everything, but God knows that leadership in marriage even though he could rest on Adam, the marriage rest on them together. The husband and the wife must bear the burden of the dominion together.
Many men have collapsed in ministry, collapsed in business simply because they carried the burden all alone. But God knew it that the secret of these couple lies in their unity. “Look to Abraham, look to Sarah”, Abraham your father, Sarah your mother. Look to them, pattern your life after them, I called them. If you look to them, I will call you too. I bless them, if you look to them, I will bless you too. There was a time my wife was explaining something in Genesis 1:27. The Bible says there: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
So, she was like the “them” was in him united or as a unit. He made him, perfected, and they are the them. Everything begins from Him to them, and from them to Him. That’s a serious mystery that we must understand. Even though God said “I called him alone” but you must not be forgetful of the fact that when God called Abraham, he was already married, and as soon as Abraham departed, Abraham did not go alone. So, who did God actually call? It’s both of them! Some people would say “it is my husband that God has called, God did not call me.” How possible is that? If you are married you are called by God. If God calls A, He has called B.
Have you not read it in the Bible that “the two shall become one?” They have same identity in God, same nature in God. they have same vision, same purpose. Some people will boast in the fact that I have started this ministry before you came. “It is me that God called, God did not call you” have you become one with her? If the answer is “yes”, God has called you. So, when God wants to speak from heaven, God doesn’t differentiate between the two of you. God talks too two of you together. If my wife says “God said” concerning us, I don’t take it as an instruction from God to her alone or to me alone. It is to us.
So, the fact that God is using the word “and God blessed him”, it does not mean the blessing of God rested on him alone. Is it not normal? If God gives you one million naira, is your wife not given the same one million? That is, it! If the light God should shine upon the husband, he has shine upon the wife too. But there are marriages that make this difficult. They frustrate the plan of God, so as God is reaching out to the husband, God must still go ahead to look for the wife because everything God gives to the husband; he keeps to himself.
There are wives that are suffering from lack of effectiveness and faithfulness from their husband. God is releasing to the man; God still has to go and look for the wife and start from where God had stopped with the husband and start again. But what is it? It says “your desire.” If you have a desire, it means you have an appetite for knowledge, go meet your husband. You want to know how to do something, go meet your husband and I have taught him that’s what God is saying. Many men will say “people must know that I’m the head of this marriage. So, if she knows what I know, I will I show that I’m her head.” Do we understand?
Your authority is not in all that. What’s the glory of Adam that he had revelation, and the lack of revelation of his wife brought his downfall? If the wife had the same revelation that he had, if both of them don’t operate independently, they walk together, same revelation, same passion, same conviction, as the husband knows he is wrong, the wife also knows she is wrong as well, they both know. That’s the ordination of God. That’s what God has ordained.
God said “look to him”, as I have called him, I called her, I blessed him, I blessed her, I have increased him, I have increased her.” There is no blessing of God that hangs on Abraham that does not hang on Sarah. There is nothing God has given to Abraham that He didn’t give to Sarah. When God visited the two of them, was Abraham there alone? Who actually cooked the food that God ate? There is nothing for the man to take glory for, everything is shared by the couple. The husband and the wife similarly experiencing God.
So, when God comes into your marriage similarly to reveal Himself, He should not find only you, or only find your husband, He should find you two. When you raise an altar to God, raise it together. When God wants to send His word, let God send it to the two of you together. Enough of having this idea that you are the only one in the marriage that is important. Come to God with your husband, come to God with your wife. You want to go in research, you want to understand who God is, go with your wife. My wife knows that as soon as I catch revelation, the same day she must catch it.
As soon as you do something your wife should do the same thing. The reason is because you carry same Spirit, same revelation, same vision. Don’t say “my wife is weak; my wife is this and that” don’t give excuse. Work with her, work with him. You know some wives are great but their husbands are their problem. Some wives are running and their husbands are staggering. Don’t go and leave your husband behind, it is either you pray that God will clear him of the reeling spirit so that he can join you or you hold his hand so you can walk together. If God gives you a wife like my wife for instance, things won’t be difficult for you. Even though you are reeling, she will help you. It may not be that rosy anyway, but she will help you.
That’s why we have realized that submission and love in marriage is a responsibility. Irresponsible men and women can’t do any of the two. If you submit to your husband, you submit to the point that you help him to fulfil his purpose. Even though he is your head, but you have submitted to the point that you will help him to function as head. It’s not going to be rosy. So, God was pleased with Sarah. When God is pleased with you, He will showcase you. You won’t have to beg marriages to look to you. God was so pleased that He was boasting about Abraham and his wife Sarah and He said “look to them.”
When God was boasting about Jesus He said “this is my beloved Son hear Him.” When God was experiencing a moment with His sons and Satan came to him in Job. God said “Satan have you considered my servant Job, that there is no one like him. He is righteous, he fears me, have you considered?” Even though Satan said all manner of things afterwards, God was still boasting about it. So, God will still boast about your marriage to your enemies. Don’t just think it is only your friends that will know that greatness is in you. God will even boast about you to your enemies. God will say “have you considered this marriage, that the marriage is unique, the wife and the husband are one, have you considered it?”
When God boast about your marriage get ready because your marriage is about to be promoted; but there is an examination that will come. The enemies that God has boasted about you in front of, they will come, they will launch an attack against your marriage, but you must be sensitive. And so, God is ready, God is willing, God is ready to showcase your marriage. But God does not showcase marriages that are failures, divided marriages, where there is no progress and where everybody is doing his thing his own way. God does not showcase that.
I pray that God will help us in Jesus name.
